I emailed a few friends the other day, “The universe must be spinning backwards or something.” In the email I included a picture from ESPN that explained what I was talking about. It involved a certain retired hall-of-famer quarterback named Bert Favrey and his possible unretirement from his formerly retired unretirement. I think I said that right.
I am a Minnesota Viking fan. I bleed purple. I have knitted Viking socks hanging in my cubicle and a foam Viking brick on top of my monitor at work to prove it. And to think that the dreaded Bert Favrey might actually be wearing purple and gold was just….well it was like totally bizzaro!
One of my cheesehead friends named Mot replied to my email thusly, “Randy Moss almost became a Packer a few years ago ... the heroes go to villains and the villains to heroes ... its like watching "wrastling". We hate Moss ... then he puts on green & gold and we love him. You hate Favre ... he puts on purple and you love him. Like Seinfeld says, ‘We're rooting for laundry.’”
Have a great day.
Mot
(Because my friend wanted to remain unanimous, I spelled his name backwards).
“We’re rooting for laundry.” I love that line!
Basically, everyone wants to be a winner. But the problem is the Vikings haven’t won the big one since the 11th century where they reigned supreme for three centuries in Northern European Football. Their playoff string began dramatically in England on June 8, 793 when the Norsemen sacked the entire island of Lindisfarne and won their first title. And they were meaner than Mean Joe Greene.
A lot meaner – Vikings were portrayed as “bloodthirsty, uncivilized barbarians.” (Is there such a thing as a civilized barbarian?) The Oakland Raiders became the uncivilized barbarians of the 20th century however when they refused to wear ties and sport coats and had long hair and beards. But somewhere along the line public perceptions of the Vikings as “bloodthirsty, uncivilized barbarians” changed. By the 1900’s they became simply known as “thirsty uncivilized barbarians.” And according to historians the cultural rehabilitation of the Norsemen was completed when a winged-helmeted Viking figurine became a radiator cap on a new car in Britain. I am NOT making this up! A radiator cap marked the cultural rehabilitation of the Vikings? No wonder we’re zippo in the Big Game.
And just a little historical trivia here. Leif Eriksson, son of Erik the Red and Thjodhild the Blonde, was the second most famous Viking ever. The most famous Viking ever? Why that would be Joseph RAGNAR Juranitch, mascot of the Minnesota Vikings, who holds the world record for shaving his beard WITH AN AXE in less than 9 minutes! Take that you Cheeseheads. Leif Eriksson later became known as “Leif the Lucky” for his daring exploits as an explorer. Fran Tarkenton on the other hand became known as “No Tears Tark” for his Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo commercials.
I for one am going to appeal to the Commish Roger Goodell to have our 3 century reign recognized in some format. Perhaps they could give us the Leif Eriksson Trophy or something. I know it doesn’t have quite the ring of the coveted Lombardi Trophy. But I personally think it should have its own room at the Hall of Fame in Canton. The very least that should be done is to give it a place next to the Kensington Rhunestone or Ole the Viking in Alexandria, Minnesota. (A little more historical trivia: there was a line on the Rhunestone that had never been translated until just a couple of years ago. Once translated, it read simply: "Leif Eriksson Bowl XXXVII -- Vikings 42, Saxons 0.”)
Back to the email replies.
Another friend replied with just this, “At this point, Minnesota can have him!” Seven words that sum up an ardent Packer fan’s feelings about perhaps the greatest gunslinger to ever grace the gridiron. Galloping gonzo gorillas gramma!
And another emailed this, “He so needs to get over himself…” Ok, Ok, I totally agree. But if he leads us to a Super Bowl victory, is it ok if he gets over himself next year?
And I think Bert will be 40 years old come October of ‘09. Forty. That compares to 97 years old in any other occupation, including kangaroo boxing and cake baking.
I honestly don’t have a clue how he would do, but it would be pretty neat seeing him under center AGAINST those no-good-lousy-rotten-Cheeseheads (whom I dearly love and admire). The Vikings at Lambeau and Bert Favrey is our quarterback?!?!?! That’s like Rommel commanding Patton’s army in Germany or something. Wow, would that game get the ratings!
And what about the game at the dome? It’s October 5th, 2009. And it’s a MONDAY NIGHT GAME!
The public address announcer comes on -- his words echoing throughout the stadium:
And Now now now now
Number number number number
Four four four four
Bert Bert Bert Bert
Favrey Favrey Favrey Favrey
The fans at the dome just go absolutely nuts! YEAH! BOOYA! WHOLETTHEDOGSOUT!!! WE LOVE YOU BERT! NUMBER FOUR FOREVER! Tears stream down the faces of hardened and bitter 0-4 Viking fans everywhere you look. Super Bowls IV, VIII, IX and XI become distant memories. Visions of sugarplums dance in their heads!
But then all of a sudden the cheers begin to fade. The dome becomes so silent you could almost hear another Tarvaris Jackson pass hit the turf far short of its intended mark.
The crowd looks toward the tunnel in anguished anticipation.
But all you hear is a methodical and rusty “Screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek..”
Hope fades to horror.
Yep…it’s Number Four all right.
Pushing a walker.
********************************************************************************
Hold It! Newsflash! May 2009. Reports say that Bert will
for now remain retired.
Translation: “I would like to avoid those icky sticky hot days in training camp in Mankato…is it ok if I start like say the day before the regular season begins?”
Dan Vander Ark
Copyright 2009
All Rights Reserved onetoomanypotatoes.blogspot.com
I am a Minnesota Viking fan. I bleed purple. I have knitted Viking socks hanging in my cubicle and a foam Viking brick on top of my monitor at work to prove it. And to think that the dreaded Bert Favrey might actually be wearing purple and gold was just….well it was like totally bizzaro!
One of my cheesehead friends named Mot replied to my email thusly, “Randy Moss almost became a Packer a few years ago ... the heroes go to villains and the villains to heroes ... its like watching "wrastling". We hate Moss ... then he puts on green & gold and we love him. You hate Favre ... he puts on purple and you love him. Like Seinfeld says, ‘We're rooting for laundry.’”
Have a great day.
Mot
(Because my friend wanted to remain unanimous, I spelled his name backwards).
“We’re rooting for laundry.” I love that line!
Basically, everyone wants to be a winner. But the problem is the Vikings haven’t won the big one since the 11th century where they reigned supreme for three centuries in Northern European Football. Their playoff string began dramatically in England on June 8, 793 when the Norsemen sacked the entire island of Lindisfarne and won their first title. And they were meaner than Mean Joe Greene. 
A lot meaner – Vikings were portrayed as “bloodthirsty, uncivilized barbarians.” (Is there such a thing as a civilized barbarian?) The Oakland Raiders became the uncivilized barbarians of the 20th century however when they refused to wear ties and sport coats and had long hair and beards. But somewhere along the line public perceptions of the Vikings as “bloodthirsty, uncivilized barbarians” changed. By the 1900’s they became simply known as “thirsty uncivilized barbarians.” And according to historians the cultural rehabilitation of the Norsemen was completed when a winged-helmeted Viking figurine became a radiator cap on a new car in Britain. I am NOT making this up! A radiator cap marked the cultural rehabilitation of the Vikings? No wonder we’re zippo in the Big Game.
And just a little historical trivia here. Leif Eriksson, son of Erik the Red and Thjodhild the Blonde, was the second most famous Viking ever. The most famous Viking ever? Why that would be Joseph RAGNAR Juranitch, mascot of the Minnesota Vikings, who holds the world record for shaving his beard WITH AN AXE in less than 9 minutes! Take that you Cheeseheads. Leif Eriksson later became known as “Leif the Lucky” for his daring exploits as an explorer. Fran Tarkenton on the other hand became known as “No Tears Tark” for his Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo commercials.
I for one am going to appeal to the Commish Roger Goodell to have our 3 century reign recognized in some format. Perhaps they could give us the Leif Eriksson Trophy or something. I know it doesn’t have quite the ring of the coveted Lombardi Trophy. But I personally think it should have its own room at the Hall of Fame in Canton. The very least that should be done is to give it a place next to the Kensington Rhunestone or Ole the Viking in Alexandria, Minnesota. (A little more historical trivia: there was a line on the Rhunestone that had never been translated until just a couple of years ago. Once translated, it read simply: "Leif Eriksson Bowl XXXVII -- Vikings 42, Saxons 0.”)
Back to the email replies.
Another friend replied with just this, “At this point, Minnesota can have him!” Seven words that sum up an ardent Packer fan’s feelings about perhaps the greatest gunslinger to ever grace the gridiron. Galloping gonzo gorillas gramma!
And another emailed this, “He so needs to get over himself…” Ok, Ok, I totally agree. But if he leads us to a Super Bowl victory, is it ok if he gets over himself next year?
And I think Bert will be 40 years old come October of ‘09. Forty. That compares to 97 years old in any other occupation, including kangaroo boxing and cake baking.
I honestly don’t have a clue how he would do, but it would be pretty neat seeing him under center AGAINST those no-good-lousy-rotten-Cheeseheads (whom I dearly love and admire). The Vikings at Lambeau and Bert Favrey is our quarterback?!?!?! That’s like Rommel commanding Patton’s army in Germany or something. Wow, would that game get the ratings!
And what about the game at the dome? It’s October 5th, 2009. And it’s a MONDAY NIGHT GAME!
The public address announcer comes on -- his words echoing throughout the stadium:
And Now now now now
Number number number number
Four four four four
Bert Bert Bert Bert
Favrey Favrey Favrey Favrey
The fans at the dome just go absolutely nuts! YEAH! BOOYA! WHOLETTHEDOGSOUT!!! WE LOVE YOU BERT! NUMBER FOUR FOREVER! Tears stream down the faces of hardened and bitter 0-4 Viking fans everywhere you look. Super Bowls IV, VIII, IX and XI become distant memories. Visions of sugarplums dance in their heads!
But then all of a sudden the cheers begin to fade. The dome becomes so silent you could almost hear another Tarvaris Jackson pass hit the turf far short of its intended mark.
The crowd looks toward the tunnel in anguished anticipation.
But all you hear is a methodical and rusty “Screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek, screeek..”
Hope fades to horror.
Yep…it’s Number Four all right.
Pushing a walker.
********************************************************************************
Hold It! Newsflash! May 2009. Reports say that Bert will for now remain retired.
Translation: “I would like to avoid those icky sticky hot days in training camp in Mankato…is it ok if I start like say the day before the regular season begins?”
Dan Vander Ark
Copyright 2009
All Rights Reserved onetoomanypotatoes.blogspot.com
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