How To Turn Your Grandkiddies Into Robots (The Birth of Pine Cone)

This little step-by-step instructional should help you on your quest to turn your little Krumbcrushers (or Anklebiters) into an amazing robot that will do practically……….nothing!  But they look cooler than cool!

 

1. First – find grandkids that are preferably between the ages of 3-7; if they are younger than 3 they are too young to grasp the idea of a “robot” and if they are older than 7 they want their robot to be able to fly into space and defeat Megatron.

2. Find a box that isn’t too big for the littlest one or too small for the oldest.  A refrigerator box is probably a smidgen too big and a shoe box is a smidgen too small.

3. Go to your favorite dollar store and just buy a bunch of cool stuff – you know, tape, tin foil (lots and lots of tinfoil), copper scrubber things for the kitchen, pipe cleaners, really ginormous glasses, tape, kiddy stickers, more tape, markers, maybe a plastic bucket helmet in sizes large and small, more tape, etc.  We found that in robot construction you need lots and lots of both duct tape and tinfoil.  But just one note of caution: Justin Bieber style duct tape is NOT PERMISSABLE ON ROBOTS! 

4.  Go to Menards and buy 3 inch plastic dryer vent tubing stuff and cut it in half so that each arm can be approximately 4 feet long.  Normal robot arms, according to the NRS (National Robotic Standards) are 1.7 meters but who knows how long that is – we’re in America!

5. Figure out where the arms and head will protrude from the robot and make some careful incisions into the robotic cardboard.  Have a towel handy so that you don’t get human blood onto the robot.  Mixing human and robotic DNA might not be a good idea (have you ever seen that movie, “The Fly?”)

6. Although this is your call, probably cover the robotic torso with something like flooring paper or butcher paper – something that the Grandkiddies can draw on.

7. Let the Krumbcrushers name their robot – although you may want to have a list of suggested names handy that they can pick from.  Our grandkids named their robot………..………………”Pine Cone.”   I had the greatest look of disappointment on my face as I just mumbled, “Pine Cone??????”  I was expecting something like “Planet Crusher” or “Meteor Zapper” or “Adrian Pederson the Packer Crusher.”  But “Pine Cone”???????  I guess that’s what happens when the two Grandkiddies involved in this project are girls.  I should have assigned the task of naming the robot to my grandson.

8. Decorate it, draw stuff on it, and just let the Anklebiters do whatever they want to their robot.  We even had a string of Christmas tree lights for the belt (if by chance you do make a robot that flies into space, then make sure the extension cord is long enough).

9. Attach a pair of gloves to the robot dryer duct arms.  As seen on the attached photo, adult supervisors are allowed to try them out first (but they should be careful with them as robotic arms are quite expensive).

10. Set the robot upright and then figure out if the Grandkiddies are going to need to stand on anything inside the robot so that their head actually sticks out and can be seen by the general public.

11. Very gingerly place a grandkiddy inside the robot and attach the arms and the helmet and plug in the belt.

12. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!  Once you have placed your little human inside the robot, NEVER turn your back on it because the robot can tip over!  As we were preparing to take photographic evidence of PINE CONE and with the oldest granddaughter inside the robot, THE ROBOT FELL OVER BACKWARDS!!!  As I replay the horrific scene in my mind the whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion, but before the adult supervisors could react in fast motion (or even normal speed motion), Kabammmm – Pine Cone was on the ground!  And the granddaughter was crying and scared!  She sensed it starting to go backwards and flailed her 4 foot long dryer duct arms wildly, but it didn’t help!  She hit the really hard floor (carpeting over concrete) and the only thing that saved her was her ice cream bucket helmet! 

13. Before placing a little human inside the robot, print out a copy of the NFL’s “What To Do If A Player Has A Concussion” and read it thoroughly.  Because we had done that we were able to react very swiftly (once the robot was in the prone position). And we followed the NFL’s guidelines verbatim: First we hollered, “OH MY GOSH!!!! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT????” And then we directed, “QUICK PUT YOUR HEAD IN THIS BUCKET OF ICE!!!”  It turned out she was fine and hadn’t hurt the floor at all.  Because of our quick thinking, Little Natalie totally recovered and again got back into the robot.

14. Have a supervisor (someone 18 or older and strong enough to stop falling robots) hide behind the robot and grasp it firmly.

15. Oh, one other thing…do not have the wood stove in the basement family room going at the same time so that its like 123 degrees while you are trying to build your robot.  During the robot construction period it tends to make adults irritable.

16. And finally……………..have fun!

Twenty Little First Graders

When I picked up my wife from work on Friday, December 14th, I asked her to text our daughter with a message that read something like, “Give the grandkids an extra special hug from us tonight.”

It had been about 8 hours since a monster had entered Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed twenty first-graders and 6 staff members.  Our granddaughter is the same age as those 20 innocent little kids.  

Earlier in the day I had clicked on a news website to see what was going on in the world. When I read the horrific headline I just dropped my head, closed my eyes and began to silently pray.  With just an awful feeling I called my wife and told her what had transpired in Connecticut. 

The next day one radio announcer remarked, “You know it’s a bad day when you are stopped at the traffic light and the people in the cars around you are crying.” A “bad day” doesn’t even begin to describe what took place.

Words just get in the way when trying to express the enormity of the grief that the parents, grandparents, family members and even the entire community of Newtown must be going through.

The shooter, Adam Lanza, fired between 50 and 100 rounds.  Most of the shooting took place in two first grade classrooms – 14 were killed in one room and 6 in the other.  Eight little boys and 12 little girls.  The six adults that were killed were all woman…and all were heroes.

In the mode of US Marines, several of the adults ran toward the sound of gunfire.

Denis Hamill wrote this in the New York Daily News, “The 2012 Daily News Person of the Year Award belongs to all those who put their lives on the line at Sandy Hook Elementary School trying to save the lives of children…”

In that same article he goes on to say, “Jump for joy for a Sandy Hook Elementary janitor named Rick Thorne who did a Paul Revere run through the hallways after spotting the gunman, shouting, ‘A gunman is coming! A gunman is coming!’ He checked to make sure the classroom doors were locked.”

Victoria Soto, a 27 year old first grade teacher, put herself between the gunmen and her terrified first graders.

The Apostle John wrote, “Greater love hath no First Grade Teacher than this, that she lay down her life for her students.” (John 15:13)

One first grader escaped by pretending to be dead.  When she finally ran and reached her mother she said, "Mommy, I'm okay, but all my friends are dead."

It wasn’t long before AM talk radio and the cable new shows were filled with talking heads pointing the finger of blame.

Was the rampage the result of loopholes in the existing gun control laws?  Is it the violent first person shooter games that we should blame?  Is it the need for more precise mental health evaluations and more dollars to be spent in that area?  Is it bad parenting?  Is it the result of Hollywood’s glorification of violence and gore and blood?

There is a great cry throughout our country for something (anything) to be done.  On the left there is a call for firmer gun control laws and even a demand for guns to be confiscated; on the right there is a call to arm the teachers.

The purpose of this brief article is not to opine on what should or should not be done, but to hopefully (and in the smallest of ways) provide some spiritual comfort. 

First, we live in a broken world where sin is rampant.  Unfortunately there may be more Adam Lanza rampages in the years to come.  Albeit they were not school shootings, in Chicago this past year 500 people have been murdered. That’s almost 20 Sandy Hooks per year!  When Jesus was born, King Herod, not wanting any competition for his throne, cruelly massacred all of the boys in the region of Nazareth 2 years old and younger.  Perhaps dozens of parents had their hearts ripped apart that day.  The Apostle Paul wrote, “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be…brutal, haters of good…” (II Timothy 3:1-3). 

Second, as tragic as this event is, the news media will quickly move on to other current events and will, for the most part, forget about Sandy Hook.  But God doesn’t forget.  The prophet Isaiah wrote, “Yet Jerusalem says, “The LORD has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us.’’ “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?  Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?  But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!  See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.” (49:14-16)   

Thirdly, unless we have lost a child, it is hard for us to fathom the pain of the parents and grandparents at the loss of their little ones.  How can you even open the door to their bedroom without tears streaming down your face?  How can you face Christmas without the joy-filled faces of those little first-graders?  But there is a God Who does ache and feel and love.  Revelation 21:4 reminds us, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”  The proof that our God is a God of love is found in the fact that He doesn't delegate the job of wiping away the tears of sorrow to angels...He does it Himself!  The lyrics from the song “For Those Tears I Died” remind us, “I felt every teardrop when in darkness you cried, and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.”  The Heavenly Father endured the brutal torture and death of His only Son; and because of that He has a tremendous compassion for the community of Newtown.   

Fourthly, find a way to show kindness and find a way to serve.  Your gentle action may make a world of difference in someone’s life.  And the world needs an army of empathetic servants. 

And finally, pray for Newtown and Sandy Hook Elementary.  Often relegated to end of the line because of its seeming unimportance and powerlessness, prayer can make the difference in someone’s life!  There is an unfathomable power available through tears that are poured out at the Throne of Grace! Through prayer we can connect individuals and communities to a God Who cares.  In the coming weeks and months remember to lift them up in your prayers.