What is the Plural of "Moses"?

Recently I was preaching at a church and the subject of the sermon was the story of the crossing of the Red Sea from Exodus chapter 14.  This portion of Exodus details how that Moses, after he had led approximately two million people out of Egypt and into the wilderness, suddenly found himself between a rock and a hard place.  With his back up against the wall (actually, his back was up against the water) and with Pharaoh (a bald Yul Brynner for those who have seen the old movie “The Ten Commandments”) bearing down on this rag-tag band of suddenly-freed slaves, Moses, in the face of almost certain camping trip failure, uttered forcefully in verse 13, “Do not fear, take your stand!”

So in trying to wax eloquent, I stated with great emphasis to the congregation how that today in our culture we need more leaders who won’t flinch in the face of the onslaught of opposition. 

“What we need today,” I eloquently waxed, “Is more Moseses!” 

I paused for affect.  (Actually I paused because I saw the confusion on the face of the gathered saints, so I tried that line again.)

 “What we need today,” I said with even greater zeal, “Are more Moseses!”

Their look of confusion continued, so, with sweat trickling down my brow I began looking off into space in a rather saintly pose, all the while in my spirit formulating an unspoken prayer request to The God Who Knows What More Than One Of A Person, Place Or Thing Is Called…

“O Thou That dwellest in the heavens, Who Art enthroned above all languages and grammatical constructions and feeble pastoral attempts at eloquent waxing, PLEEEEAAAAAASSSSE answerest Thou me like really fast and deliverest Thou me from this embarrassing self-made predicament.  WHAT on earth (or if it’s in Heaven then sendest it downst to me) is the plural of Moses???  

                       

                        Are more Moseses?

                        Is more Moseses?

                        More than one Mosum?

                        More Mosii??

                        A bunch of Mooses

                        A gaggle of Moseses?

                        A murder of Crows?

Answerest Thou me in fire with the correct grammatical construction and driest Thou up this river of sweat filling the trench around the altar!”

Divine insight suddenly began to flood my northern Minnesota spirit!

Well ok…actually my wife mouthed the correct grammatical enuncification to me as she rolled her eyes.  (Over the years I have learned how to interpret her mouthings with great agility because on a number of occasions she has caught me in mid-sermon and mouthed, “Y  o  u      h  a  v  e      y  o  u  r      s  w  e  a  t  e  r      o  n      b  a  c  k  w  a  r  d  s  !  !  !).  

With an astonishing sense of relief I was finally able to wax eloquently about the need for unyielding courage and granite like determination in the face of embarrassingly incorrect grammatical constructions.

“What we need today………………are more brothers of Aaron!”

The End J

“He Who sits in the heavens…laughs” (Psalm 2:4)