Hey Pastor Dan, You're Cool!

One of the people at church happened to mention to me one day, “Pastor Dan, you’re cool!” Her statement sort of took me off guard, but once I recovered I felt I had to set the record straight. “Well let me tell you a little story and I think you will change your mind.” I sat down next to her and told her the following true story. Several years ago my wife bought me one of those leather Spencer Tracy type of hats – you know, the kind that Harrison Ford made famous in those Indiana Jones movies. I had to make a trip to the mall for something so I decided to wear the Indiana-Jones-Harrison-Ford-Spencer-Tracy hat. I parked by Penney’s (on one end of the mall) but decided to go to Sears (at the other end of the mall). As I was walking through the mall I noticed people sort of glancing my way. I thought to myself, “They must be thinking, ‘Was that Harrison Ford? Hey, look! It’s Indy!’” I kept walking and people kept glancing. I tried walking like Dr. Jones. By the time I got to Sears I felt like I was on the last crusade as a raider of the lost ark through the temple-mall of doom. When I got to Sears I went to the restroom just to take a quick glance in the mirror to make sure I was still oozing coolness. Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I had the hat on backwards and the tag was sticking out!

I ain’t the Fonz. Me and coolness just don’t see eye to eye. Don’t get me wrong – I try to be cool – but coolness doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I found 22 results for the word “cool” on www.dictionary.com – I wasn’t pictured by any of them. Besides the typical definitions for cool (such as “imparting a sensation of moderate coldness”), I also found these: socially adept – well that’s not me – I almost knocked out this girl I liked at youth camp when I swung my duffel bag up and caught her underneath the chin. Another definition is this: to reduce the molecular or kinetic energy of an object. I think I do that sometimes. I know I’m thinking slower. I think. And another is this: composure, poise. You haven’t seen me on the dance floor. Just typing “me on the dance floor” seems funny to me. The word can also mean “excellent” or “first-rate.” Like, “Hey you drive a really cool 1995 Nissan 2-wheel-drive rusty dog-ate-the-truck-seat pickup.” It can also mean “a casual manner” or “nonchalantly.” Now that’s not me, but it perfectly describes my older brother. He was really nonchalant at about age 9 or 10 when he started the woods on fire behind our home and came in and asked our mom for a bucket of water to put the fire out. “What do you want that for, Naj? (I spelled his name backwards to protect his identity). “Oh nothing, just gonna water the woods.” By the 27th bucket she must have figured something was up. That and the flames and fire truck outside. My brother reminded me of my “involvement” in this criminal activity about a month ago, but I think he is still just trying to ease his conscience after all these years. I am just about sorta kinda pretty sure I didn’t have anything to do with it. Sort of.

Now if I had started the woods on fire, my nonchalantness/coolness would have gone like this:

“MOM, NAJ STARTED THE WOODS ON FIRE!!! WE NEED WATER!!! AND FAST!!!”
“Who started the woods on fire?”
“NAJ, YOUR SON NAJ!”
“Danny, we don’t have a Naj in this family.”
“LISTEN TO ME WOMAN! I AM SAYING HIS NAME BACKWARDS TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY!!!”
“Oh. Well, here’s a bucket of water…”

I would imagine most people at some point in their lives try to be “cool.” The desire afflicts teenagers big-time. In the book of Isaiah, chapter 53, there are a few remarkable verses that always make me stop and think when I read them. “He has no form or royal, kingly pomp, that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like One from Whom men hide their face. He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth. Yet surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows and pains…He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace and well-being fell upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed and made whole.” (Isaiah 53:2-5). Another version of the Bible puts the first couple of verses this way, ““There was nothing attractive about Him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a Man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at Him and people turned away.” These words were written of the Messiah and they give us insight into how He was viewed by the society of His day and His remarkable heart of love for people…even people who laughed at Him and scorned Him and derided Him and didn’t think that He was “cool.” But Jesus didn’t worry about coolness. He didn’t put on airs and never tried to impress people. He never tried to be something He wasn’t. What you saw on the outside, He was on the inside. And His tremendous heart of love caused Him at times to do the “uncool” (like touching lepers and talking to prostitutes) and eventually led Him to Calvary for you and I.

So just be yourself. And does anyone want to buy a used “Indiana Jones Harrison Ford” hat, size 7 ½? And you don’t have to worry about putting it on backwards -- I will write “FRONT” on the inside. And I can cut the tag off. 