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Monday, March 10, 2008

An A-Mail From T-Bone (Heaven from a Dog's Point of View)

Introduction: I don’t normally put an “intro” to an article but for the following fictitious story I need to sort of set the scene. For 13 years we had a dog named “T-Bone” whom we had to put to sleep in May of 2006 due to a losing battle with separation anxiety and his old age issues. Even though the Bible isn’t clear on it, I lean toward the fact that our pets go to heaven. God is an amazingly good God and I think when we get to heaven we will be amazed by so many things – and one of those things will be seeing our pets in heaven. So the following is what I call an “a-mail (angel mail) from T-Bone,” sort of “heaven from T-Bone’s point of view.” “Hey master – guess what? I can type now! They have a huge keyboard by one of the gates of the city that is made just for dogs – it fits our paws perfectly! It takes me awhile to type these but hey, I got lots of time! The angels help us (the younger angels-in-training); they help us spell somewhat and then we can pull up anyone’s name on planet earth and just hit the “send button” and they say somehow it gets to you. So that’s kool. You remember how you used to preach about Paul the apostle and that church tradition said he was bald and bowlegged but that that would change once he got to heaven? And that once you got up here you would not be taller than your hair? Well guess what? Paul still doesn’t have hair! Guess the jokes on you!!! Hahahahahahahahaha. Just kidding master – he has lots of hair – but he’s still bowlegged – so I guess you’re outa luck there. But is he cool to talk to! He still has fire in his eyes. I saw Jesus the other day. All I can say is, “WOW!” You know you can still see the nail prints in His hands. And guess what? He really loves dogs!!! All types and sizes come running to meet Him when they see Him and He even lets them lick His face – even the pitbulls like Him. And you can’t believe how much He loves people – master I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t give their heart completely to Him. He has such an incredible sadness and heartache when He talks about people that don’t know Him as their personal Savior. Fsbof yp;f ,r yjr dyptu pg jo, smf Hp;osyj!!! Oops hold it, the angel in training just pointed out to me that I had my little paws shifted one key to the right. Let me try typing that again…what I wanted to type was this: David told me the story of him and Goliath! You know King David isn’t that big, he sure ain’t no Ahnold Schwarchentruber Governator guy, he’s just like you and me (well pretty much like you accept he has hair – hahahahahahahahaha – hope you don’t mind me teasing you again about your hair master, of which you have none); and Goliath was huge! They have HDTV up here (heavenly days TV) and they have all of history on DVD’s so we can watch anything we want. Anyway, we plugged in the story of David and Goliath and David sat right next to me!!! Kooler than kool! He pointed out how his countrymen were a bunch of chickens (a couple of chickens up here told me that they were ashamed to be associated with Saul and his soldiers) but that his faith in God helped him overcome any fear that he had and that he couldn’t stand having some big ugly giant dissing his God!!! (See how I picked up that street slang since I been up here?). Anyway, he took out his slingshot and a couple of rocks and wow was it quiet out on the battle field when they had their standoff. Goliath was huffing and puffing and spittin and fumin and snortin and filled with rage. But little David was grinning from ear to ear!!! Us under-dogs were so excited we could hardly stand it. Davey slinged that slingshot and hit the giant right between the eyes and he fell down kabooom! And then he went and took the giants sord (I am sworry master but it seems like a total waste of a “w” to spell it “sword”) and cut off the giant's head. I saw all of the little dogs so happy that little David had defeated that big bully. WAS THAT EVER KOOL! Most people aren’t aware of it, but David wrote a book about that battle and went on a book signing tour for awhile before he became king. Do you know what the name of his book was master? “How to Get A Head.” hahahahahahahaha And hey, tell your daughter Courtney and her husband Gus that their little son and daughter twins that died unexpectedly are doing fine – they took me for a walk the other day down the most beautiful trail; it was all wooded and wow the colors are incredible. Better than any pictures you ever took. Well, I miss you master. I still stop by the gate everyday to see if you’re coming. It’s nicer than nice up here but it still isn’t quite the same without you. I ain’t nervous anymore but there seems to be sort of an empty spot in my dog heart. I think it will be better once you get here. Luv, Yer Dog T-Bone PS Master…Dogs get to come right on into heaven – but you know what? Katz have to have a letter of recommendation! I think that’s so funny master. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved

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