The Magic Sock Drawer

“Hey honey, come here and look at this!” “I’m coming, I’m coming,” my wife replied, “What’s going on?” I pointed to the bottom drawer of the dresser in our little bedroom. “Look! IT’S FULL AGAIN! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! This has to be some sort of miracle! This drawer hasn’t been empty for over 12,000 days! I sat on the edge of the bed and just stared at the drawer. My wife just rolled her eyes. “12,000 days,” I kept repeating. “Always full, never without socks.” I followed her as she lugged a huge laundry basket down the stairs, “You don’t suppose there’s a sock angel do you? Maybe we should contact the church headquarters and see if they want to investigate and possibly turn it into a shrine.” “I think they should investigate you,” she said. “But this is almost bigger than Moses and the Manna,” I argued. “There…Bamanna Bread for 40 years…from heaven; here…black socks, brown socks, white socks for 33 years…from wwwwwhhhhoooooo kkknnnnnooooooowwwwwssss wwwhhhhhheerrrrreee? I bet you it has something to do with that big hole in the hozone layer!” “Honey, it’s not the hozone layer….its the ozone layer. You think your socks are falling down from the ionosphere by aliens?” Well,” I replied, “you know how when you put five pair of socks in the dryer and only 4.5 pair come out?” Yeah, what about it? Well, I think when the dryer spins it opens up some sort of vortex or Sockgate in the back of the dryer -- that stray sock then hits the hozone and somehow my magic sock drawer gets filled up! “I think you’re spending too much time in the bozone layer,” was all she said. I snuck up on the dresser and tried peeking in the drawer – kind of like opening up the fridge door fast enough to see if you can look in before the light comes on. It was always full. I began pondering some other strange occurrences around the house: like the fact that the sugar jar was always full, and and and come to think of it -- the coffee canister….that never gets empty either. Hmmmmmmmm? I shared this fact with some of my guy friends (well I didn’t share it with them, we sort of grunted about it while watching the Vikings get beat). They have sometimes seen it happen in their homes but not to the extent that it happens at our home. “Crop circles,” one of them said, “somehow it’s connected to crop circles.” Another one said, “Set a trap. Cover the floor with flour or Jell-O or hook a pail of water to the ceiling and connect it so when the drawer is opened……wawhoooooooooooshhh. I took part of their advice. I rigged up one of those motion sensor cameras with a flash like the deer hunters use. It didn’t take long. I was sitting on the couch one night doing several reps of remote control curls when suddenly I saw a brilliant flash at the top of stairs followed by a crash, bang, boom, crash and then a blood curdling scream (or was it a blood curdling scream followed by a boom, crash, bang?). I raced to the top of the stairs and shot into the bedroom. My wife was sprawled out on the floor – she was covered with Jell-O and flour. I stepped right over her and the laundry basket as I rushed to look into the magic sock drawer – it was partially open! “Honey, did you see it? What was it? Did you SEE ANYTHING AT ALL???” The last thing I remembered seeing that night was a laundry basket full of socks coming toward me at the speed of light.*** (***Disclaimer: Most of what is stated above is sort of not really true and just a little bit stretched, except for this one thing: the sock drawer is ALWAYS full and I am deeply in love with the sock angel and appreciate her more than she knows [Proverbs 31:10-31]).